


Love Me More Tomorrow Than You Do Today

by DjDangerLove



Series: Tarlos March Madness [1]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Supportive Carlos Reyes, TK Strand Needs A Hug, brief mention of drug use, he gets one plus heads kisses, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29784573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DjDangerLove/pseuds/DjDangerLove
Summary: "Carlos meets his gaze in the mirror, taking him all in and realizing with gut-wrenching clarity that every little thing he’d been annoyed by this week had been signs that something was wrong."Or: TK struggles with the urge to use
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: Tarlos March Madness [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189232
Comments: 26
Kudos: 373





	Love Me More Tomorrow Than You Do Today

**Author's Note:**

> I challenged myself to post a Tarlos fic every day for the month of March, all of them taking place at Carlos' house. Here's 1 of 31 :

The alarm rings at four in the morning, a blaring sound distorted by the tinny quality of the speaker on Carlos’ phone. The house feels unusually cold, sheets cool against his skin as he twists on the mattress to cut the alarm. His fingers fumble around the case, nearly sending it to the floor more than once before he can douse the room in silence again. 

With a sigh, he falls back onto the bed while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. As he waits for the black spots to clear from his vision, he’s reminded of just how cold he is and notices the lack of a human furnace pressed up against him. 

The night before comes rushing back in snippets of angry words and hurt expressions, igniting a guilty fire that burns across his face, shading it in red like a sunburn. Carlos’ patience had been running thin all week and TK, for a reason Carlos hadn’t been able to pinpoint, had seemed hell-bent on making him lose it altogether. 

Thinking back on it now only makes the guilt burn hotter until he can no longer lay underneath the thin flat sheet of his bed. He flips it back and sits up, fingers angrily combing through his loose curls until a shift on the mattress makes him freeze. TK wrapped snuggly in his Austin Fire hoodie curls further in on himself at the edge of the bed, back pointedly turned towards Carlos’ side of the bed. Where he’d usually reach out and soothe TK back to sleep, he makes the conscious decision not to, deciding instead to leave the bed entirely and shuffle into the bathroom. 

The quiet snick of the en suite door closing seems to echo for an eternity as he flips the light on in the bathroom. He blinks against the brightness and fumbles for his toothbrush by the sink before letting muscle memory take over the process as his thoughts are flooded with memories of the past week. 

He thinks back to Wednesday and the way TK had woken up with dark circles under his eyes and a lie on his tongue as to why. He hadn’t bothered to push for the truth because he’d been chasing the clock all morning and hadn’t wanted to chance being late just so his partner could give him shit for it all day. Besides, he knew the 126 had the day off to recuperate after battling the wildfires in San Angelo so he’d kissed TK’s cheek in a rush and managed to send off a quick text on his lunch break to make sure he’d gotten some more sleep. By the time he’d gotten home, his boyfriend had seemed genuinely happy and content as they shared Chinese takeout in front of the TV so he let his worry fizzle out. 

Until the next morning when TK pushed at the blueberry pancakes Carlos had gotten up thirty minutes earlier to make just so they could have breakfast together before they both headed off to work. 

“Is my cooking not good enough for you now?” Carlos had teased. “You went off to San Angelo and had all that complimentary breakfast and now this isn’t up to par with your standards?”

TK’s lips had made a quick uptick, but it hadn’t reached his eyes. “What can I say? Ambiguously wrapped granola bars are a delicacy.” 

Carlos smiled at the response, but then set his fork down. “Seriously. Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah!” TK had rushed to assure, going so far as to take a small bite of pancake. “Yeah, sorry. I’m just…tired. I think I slept too much yesterday.”

Carlos made a noncommittal noise and let TK change the subject to the texture of hummus until they had to leave. 

By the time Friday had rolled around, TK had been fidgety. More so than usual. He couldn’t sit still at dinner, the water in their glasses rippling with each bounce of his boyfriend’s leg. He even frayed the edges of the woven blanket on the couch while they tried to watch a movie before going to bed. He wasn’t proud to admit it, but it was wearing on his nerves. 

That night TK had tossed and turned every which way until Carlos had reached out and pulled him close, but in a much less romantic way than normal. “You’ve got to stop moving and go to sleep. We both have work tomorrow.” 

His voice had been gruff with exhaustion and had he been more alert he would’ve apologized for the way he said it, but TK had murmured an, “Okay,” and laid still enough that Carlos fell asleep within minutes. 

When he woke up on Saturday, TK was gone with a sticky note left in his wake letting Carlos know he’d left early to go for a run before his shift. In a selfish way, he’d been glad for the morning to himself, still a bit annoyed at TK’s evasiveness and anxious energy. He knows it isn’t exactly fair to feel that way, given that TK and the entire 126 crew was still working through Tim’s death and the wildfire aftermath, but Carlos’ boss had been pushing them all week for more accountability on an uptick in robberies in the city and they weren’t getting anywhere. 

It left Carlos feeling like he was caught in a never ending cycle of annoyance, with every little thing that went wrong feeling more monumental than it had any right to be. So by the time that Sunday night came and TK dropped his bag in the wrong spot as he walked in from his shift and toed off his shoes without bothering to put them out of the way, Carlos had little patience left for anything else. 

He was on the phone with his partner, venting about their Sergeant and what was sure to be a rough beat tomorrow, when TK had stepped through the door. He tried to ignore the irritation that ignited as he watched him drop his stuff in all the wrong places. Unfortunately, TK hadn’t noticed Carlos’ mood and began talking even though he was on the phone.

“Carlos. I- I really need to talk-“

“TK!” Carlos cut him off, placing his hand over the phone as he whisper yelled. “I’m on the phone. Give me a second.”

On any other day, the hurt look that flashed across TK’s face would have killed Carlos. But he let the spike of pain ebb away as TK turned without another word for the stairs. When he followed up an hour later, ready to apologize for snapping at him, he found TK already in bed facing away from Carlos’ spot. Judging by his quick breathing, he knew he wasn’t asleep, but if he wanted to pretend that he was Carlos had no energy to prove otherwise. 

So he just shut the bathroom light off after getting ready for bed and laid down without another word.

Now, here he is on Monday morning, dreading going to work and dreading coming back, and not really understanding why. Adding everything together, he can see where his faults are, sees where he could have done better, should have done better, but can’t comprehend how to fix it despite how much he wants to. 

His chance comes sooner rather than later, as TK appears behind him at the doorframe of the en suite. He’s leaning against it like he doesn’t have the strength to stand and the dark circles under his eyes lay heavy under red-rimmed lids and wet lashes. Carlos meets his gaze in the mirror, taking him all in and realizing with gut-wrenching clarity that every little thing he’d been annoyed by this week had been signs that something was _wrong_ . 

He turns from the mirror, desperate to make amends but TK’s forgiveness is quicker off the tongue.

“Please, don’t go,” TK whispers, worrying his lip until he grimaces at the metallic taste dripping from a split.

“TK-“

“I know I don’t have the right to ask you that, especially after this week, but I- I don’t want you to leave.”

TK trembles under the weight of the admission and it takes all of Carlos’ strength not to rush him, pull him close and never let go.

“Leave? You know I’m just going to work, right? This…whatever’s happened this week ...it’s not _that_ ,” Carlos says, knowing it doesn’t quite make sense but he can’t quite bring himself to acknowledge the fact that he may have driven a wedge so far between them that TK thinks he’s just going to walk out of this relationship.

“I know. Of course, I know that,” TK assures, hugging his arms tighter to himself. “I just mean I …don’t want you to go to work.”

Fresh tears pool in the green eyes looking everywhere but him, and this time Carlos can’t hold back and crosses the bathroom in one swift step to cup TK’s face in his hands.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

He feels TK melt into his touch before arms rush around his waist and squeeze gently, “I should’ve just told you when it started.”

Carlos hugs him back, dropping his chin on top of TK’s head. “You can tell me now.”

“It’s just everything. Tim died and we missed the funeral because of the wildfires. Dad almost died out there, I thought he was dead at one point. Now he’s just acting all weird and he won’t stop arguing with my mom. And I-“

Carlos feels the weight TK’s been carrying settle where it should between them, but he knows the next part will put him completely off balance, because he should have _known_ that was why TK couldn’t sleep, hardly eat, or sit still. 

“It’s okay, Ty,” he assures and presses a soft kiss to his hair. He knows it’s important for TK to say the next part so he rubs his hand up and down his back encouragingly as he adds, “You can say it, sweetheart. It’s going to be alright.”

He feels TK’s fingers bunch the fabric of his shirt as he clings tight and admits on a whisper, “I feel like using.”

Carlos stands unwavering for no other reason than the fact that TK needs him to, even though he feels like suffocating under his own guilt. 

“I haven’t!” TK says into Carlos’ shoulder. “I swear, I haven’t. But today, I just can’t-“

“Deal with it yourself like you’ve had to do all week,” Carlos finishes, near tears himself. “I’m so sorry, Ty.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I should’ve just told you when it first hit, but I thought I could handle it. Then it started snowballing and so did your mood, and now we’re here.”

Carlos huffs a laugh, one he doesn’t quite feel as much as TK’s gentle grin against his shoulder.  
“And now we’re here,” he repeats back, voice tender as he drops his head to rest against TK’s once more before starting up the slow slide of his hand against TK’s back to soothe the trembling nerves beneath. “Where I’m going to call out sick so I can be here to help you like I should have done all along.”

“I should’ve asked for help sooner.”

He feels a rush of pride at the strength that TK has. “Regardless, I’m proud of you for asking for it now despite everything. I’m less proud of how I’ve acted this week. I’m sorry for taking my stress out on you.”

“It’s okay, I promise,” TK says. “Are you sure it’s okay if you call out today? I know things have been tense at the precinct. I can-“

“I’m one hundred percent certain it’s okay. I don’t care how tense things are at work. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more important than you.”

They end up back in bed after Carlos calls out sick, bare skin pressing against each other and slotted together like puzzle pieces. He can feel the tiny tremors running through TK and finds an odd comfort there where he didn’t before. He knows he can’t soothe them away, but he runs his hand through his boyfriend’s hair all the same and offers him a smile when he peeks his eyes open at the touch. 

“I love you, you know,” Carlos says around his smile growing wider at the sight of TK doing the same. 

“I do know,” TK replies, turning his face into the pillow leaving just enough of his mouth visible so his words aren’t completely muffled. “Why else are you going to make me your delicious blueberry pancakes for breakfast?”

Carlos’ laugh jostles them both. “Oh, am I?”

“Uh huh,” TK’s grin is half tucked into the pillow, but Carlos doesn’t think he’s ever seen a better one. “But you can at least wait until the sun comes up.”

“Wow. How chivalrous of you.”

“I have my moments.”

Carlos kisses the side of his head before laying his head back on his own pillow. “Don’t I know it.”

The room falls silent, the last remnants of night blanketing them in a peaceful quiet they haven’t shared in days. Carlos thinks TK’s managed to beat him back to sleep, but a quite, “Hey, ‘Los?” proves otherwise. 

“Yeah?”  
“I really love you.”

The guilt he feels over the last week rushes back with a vengeance and nearly steals his breath, but he reaches out and hugs TK close to him, kissing the crown of his head while reminding himself that neither of them are perfect. Mistakes are inevitable, but correcting them, learning from them, that’s a choice he’s going to make every day for the rest of his life.

“I know. I only hope you love me more tomorrow than you do today.”

He feels TK kiss the back of his hand where theirs are intertwined. “And every day after that, I’ll love you even more."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos are appreciated. Comments are food.  
> Come yell at me on tumblr at DjDangerLove


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